anxious

tornadoes- winds of change- the unknown that lurks behind the cracked open door- okay i am just trying to reassure myself- no i don't have all the answers to all the 'what if's' - i can only go as far as i see. i guess it doesn't do me any good to get all tied up in knots about what will happen tomorrow or the next day or next week. for what is going to happen , at this point in time , i do not know, but what ever is going to happen already has happened. i just need be open minded and not beat myself up for what ever i did or did not do- because it's already done- all I can do is go forward. ( the mom side is worried about insurance for me and my daughter though - i have to admit)but i am a good honest hard worker with creative spirit - lurking to come out- maybe it will be a blessing in disguise - kinda like the blessing in disguise that just moved out... ha.
umm ... it's a lay off and i have til June 30th to either hope they 'rehire' me or take the severance package.... sometimes I am so slow...

wow i never saw that coming...okay i am tired of being side swiped ...my body feels like it is frozen with anxiety - like i don't even want to move my body.