Tornadoes

The night before last I was dreaming of tornadoes. It was one of those dreams that the next day just keeps replaying in your head over and over. You can't seem to shake it. I looked up into the sky and I could see the clouds forming in a funnel shape. I could feel the wind whipping around me- i wasn't alone. There were other people- i want to say , hmm i think there were little blond headed children with me. I ran them into the little house and hovered until I felt it was safe to go out. I didn't see much damage but even though I didn't see it, I knew a lot of damage had been done - somewhere. I remember looking outside and it was all sunny and hot. I walked outside assuming it was safe and it started to happen again. I felt more winds picking up and saw the dark gray ominous looking clouds starting to make that funnel shape again . It was like it was right over my head and I could see the inside the walls of this tornado. I think I remember hovering once again and this time a few windows were broken, but still not too much damage.. and then I can't remember much more than that. But what I can remember is very vivid in my head.

What does dreaming of tornadoes mean I asked myself...so of course I 'google' interpretations of dreams , clicked on tornadoes- Basically things are changing which is going to require you to keep up your education or in other words 'get your sh*t together'

Things in my life are changing. Though sad but good things are happening. I mean, it doesn't feel to good but the positives will outweigh the negatives once i get through what I need to get through. So that leaves me scratching my head , thinking..."hmmmm"

We had a department meeting today at work. Called at the last minute and required everyone to be there. Most of us were thinking - oh it's our Director, she's retiring and she is probably officially announcing it and going to tell us who is taking her place.....
yeah well - true our Director is retiring... but there was much more to the meeting than that. We were all told that the department we work in and throughout the entire network will be combined and reporting to Corporate instead of each site having their own department. Looking to cut costs and be much more efficient, I suppose. okay- but everyone has to fill out a transfer form and actually 're apply' for the job they want without any guarantee that we will get the job. We must fill out a new application along with our updated resume and actually go through an interview process - hoping we get our jobs back. I am not to sure I understand all this though. We are going from working on separate campuses to working under one umbrella ( the Corporate office) - it's not like we are being bought out by a different company.

So I guess this is my tornado....you see ...I am really good at what I do. I have been doing for about 20 yrs. My drawback is my productivity which has haunted me my entire career. It is just that productivity while was important was not as emphasized as much as it is in today's "almost on the verge of a Depression " era. My quality however is VERY good. Sometimes I am too detail oriented, other times I am bored, and this past year- well for those who know me- this past year has been a horrible emotional roller coaster ride - a really bad tornado - And unfortunately, I let it get the best of me- spending many of my productive hours worrying, stressing, and crying - and for what.... and now my job is on the line. I mean - I don't mean to be so dramatic- everyone has to do this. But I feel very scared that 'they' ( the big corporate guru's who will interview me - us ) will not let me back on the team. My productivity over the last year has taken a huge nose dive - given the emotional stress i let myself get into.

I hope I don't dream about tornadoes tonight....