laying in bed in my quiet room with my little light on. i like these moments.
my daughter had to journal every day in class. it looked as if her teacher would give the class a topic to write on. for example, what would your best birthday party be like? Now, please know I was not snooping or prying. She left it for me on my desk and asked me to read them. She sure does have a lot of insight. I am glad she journals. she is able to write down her thoughts- thoughts that are so hard for to speak out loud. May 16th was a hard day for her- she was upset that people she loved were walking out of her life. I understand why she was writing that. It sure did hurt my heart to read those words. Reading more of her entries- i kept wondering if she was happy living with me. She says her daddy brags on what a good time they always have and i think it hurts her feelings because she is not there and she is afraid they will throw it in her face that she wanted to live with me. i know she loves me and i know she loves her daddy- and her parents love her so much it hurts. she is a very lucky girl. Motherhood Parenthood we all hope we are doing the best and the right things. i know sometimes i bury my head in the sand like an Ostrich because i feel afraid and i don't want to see or hear what is actually going on. fear i guess... but not healthy for sure. we'll get there.

til tomorrow...
love,
a mom